The Night of the Drunken Gryffindor Boobs
by SnickleFritz
Summary: A songfic of Crambo's "Boobies", just complete foolishness. R/R please


Disclaimer- JK Rowling owns most of these characters. Except Haylie Madison, she is owned by Little Ray of Moonlight. And Little Ray of Moonlight was the inspiration for this story (I co-wrote with her). We did it late at night on a sugar rush, listening to Crambo's "Boobies (daft in- studio nonsense) last night. So this is kinda a songfic. This is the only Crambo songfic I've ever seen. Enjoy!  
  
1.1.1.1 "The Night of the Drunken Gryffindor Boobs"  
  
Co-written by- SnickleFrtiz and Little Ray of Moonlight  
  
Ron and Harry were rudely awoken, by the screams coming from across their room. "Trevor! Trevor!" Ron sat up, and Harry dozed back off to sleep. "Neville shut the hell up! It's Saturday you idiot." Neville was staring to cry. "I think Trevor is sick." Ron laid his head down, "Take him to Madame Pomfrey." After he said that he started to snore softly. Neville crept quietly out of the dorm room, and through the deserted common room. He found his way through the dark hallways to the infirmary. He entered and started yelling, "Madame Pomfrey! Madame Pomfrey! Hurry I need you!" Madame Pomfrey came running (expecting a big emergency) still in her nightgown. "Oh, it's you," she said this rather coolly, "What do you want?" Neville thrust Trevor at her. "He's sick." Madame Pomfrey looked down to what Neville was holding. She let out a scream. "Get that filthy thing away from me." Neville looked hurt, "But he's sick." Madame Pomfrey turned around, "You can get some medicine out of that cabinet over there." She pointed at a large wooden cabinet. "Thank you, thank you." She walked back to her more, mumbling something about not getting paid enough. Neville went over to the cabinet. Having never had a sick toad he grabbed all of the cold medicine in the cabinet. He stuffed it in his pockets and arms. He made his way back to the common room.  
  
He sat Trevor down on one of the couches, and began to put the medicine down. He got out a teaspoon of the dark liquid, and he tried to get Trevor to eat it. " Come on. Eat it you'll get better." Trevor sat there, "Ribbit."  
  
Fred, George and Seamus came down just as Neville was about to force- feed Trevor. They all said the same thing in unison. "What are you doing?" Neville looked to see who was speaking to him. "Trevor is sick." Fred walked over to see Trevor, "I don't think that toads can get sick." He looked down at the usually green Trevor, but he was now purple. He started to laugh. "This isn't funny." George walked over to see what Fred was laughing at. He joined in on the laughter. " Neville, Trevor isn't sick. Someone has just changed his color." Seamus walked over to see Trevor. Fred mumbled a charm under his breath, and a bright light hit Trevor and he was green again. "Thank you very much! How can I ever thank you?" Fred looked at George and Seamus, and then they looked at all of the left over medicine. "Give me that medicine." Neville gave it to him, and he ran up to his dorm to tell Harry and Ron that Trevor was fine. The next thing Fred, George, and Seamus knew Neville was running in screaming; closely followed by Ron. Ron was yelling curses at him. Harry walked in wiping the sleep out of his eyes.  
  
********  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Haylie heard all of the yelling, and went down to see what it was. She saw what was going on, and very one saw her. She still being in her pajamas. She was wearing short shorts, and a tank top.  
  
********  
  
Another Meanwhile...  
  
Oliver woke up thinking that he had a Quidditch practice. He got halfway down the stairs and remembered that it was Saturday. He looked down and saw Haylie standing there scantly clad. He decided that he should go down and investigate.  
  
********  
  
In the common room...  
  
They all looked away for from Haylie, and saw Oliver. Haylie blushed when he began to stare at her. "What are you guys doing down here?" Oliver said but still staring at Haylie. Fred punched him in the arm, to get his attention. Oliver hadn't realized he had been staring. He started to blush. Haylie walked up to all of the cold medicine. She picked up a bottle, she looked at their surprised faces. She opened it, and downed half of it. She walked up to Oliver, "Go ahead. Try it."  
  
Oliver looked nervously at all of the guys. "Come on, we can't let all that medicine go to waste," Haylie said.  
  
Oliver took it from her, "No we can't let that happen." He chugged it down. He threw down the empty bottle.  
  
"I got the car,  
  
I got the keys.  
  
I got the love,  
  
I got the Rockin' Roll disease, yeah."  
  
They all grabbed a bottle, and opened them. "Cheers." The tapped each other's bottle. They drank it all. They sat down for 20 minutes, waiting for it to take its effects. They began to feel woozy. Neville stood up and started dancing around like a rooster. Haylie then decided that they should go into another room. The journeyed until they found an empty room. They went in, and Haylie shut the door. "That's better." She zapped her wand several times. She lit the candles, and some music from some unknown source started to play. They began to dance around, feeling drunk from all of the cold syrup. Harry began to sing, but they weren't the words of the song. Ron began to mumble about his feelings, how he should tell her. Neville began to do impressions of his grandmother. "Go clean up your room!" Seamus became very interested with a spot on the wall. Fred and George began on go on about how crazy Oliver was. Haylie was going for another bottle of cold syrup. Oliver just watched her, but there was about three of her.  
  
"I don't need smack,  
  
I don't need speed,  
  
I don't need crack.  
  
I got the Rockin' Roll disease."  
  
Oliver got up and walked over to Haylie. His head lolled around. He tapped her on the shoulder, "Would you like to dance?" She took another chug of the medicine. She grabbed his hands. She spun him around, and he fell down. He lay on his back. "Look he can't walk!" Fred yelled across the room. "Maybe not but he's going to get more action than you are," Haylie yelled back. After she said that Oliver had a confused look on his face. Haylie leaned down and kissed him. She pulled away, and Oliver was cross-eyed. He sat up and began to sing along with the song (he was singing it at Fred and George).  
  
"I got the Boobies.  
  
I got Boobies.  
  
I got the booby, booby, boobies.  
  
Yeah"  
  
Harry began to prance around like a ballerina, and humming Swan Lake. Ron was weeping, "I've wasted so much time." Neville was still doing grandma impressions. Seamus was now running around the room with his arms out like wings. He was saying, "I'm Superman!" George screamed, "Yeah, Oliver thinks that he's Superman too."  
  
"Hey, I got Christopher Lloyd.  
  
I got Christopher Reeves.  
  
I got Marty McGwire  
  
I got the Rockin' Roll disease  
  
Yeah, yeah, yeah!"  
  
At this time Hermione walked in. "What are all of you doing?" Ron ran to her, "I have to tell you something. I love you!" He got down on his knees, "I LOVE YOU!" Hermione looked at him and then on the ground where empty cold syrup bottles lay. "I love you too." She pulled him up and went and got a bottle and drank it. She walked back to Ron. She kissed him. They then sat on the ground and started to sing, "99 bottles of cold syrup on the wall, 99 bottles of cold syrup. Take one down pass, it around. 98 bottles of cold syrup on the wall..." Seamus was now head banging. Neville was throwing Trevor up in the air and catching him. Fred's stomach began to growl, "I'm hungry." George zapped in some Fruit Loops. They sat on the ground munching on them.  
  
"I got cheese.  
  
I got the hamburger.  
  
I got some other stuff  
  
Yeah, yeah."  
  
For every bottle that Hermione and Ron sang about they drank it, and they made it all the way to 92 before passing out. Harry was now on the last act of Swan Lake. Seamus was now totally wasted, he sat crouched against the wall. His eyes were drooping. Neville had stopped throwing Trevor because he had dropped him. Neville lay down, and began to snore. Fred and George, full on Fruit Loops and cold syrup, were now doing Oliver impressions. "Hey where is Oliver. I can't see him." They looked around the room, and found him in the corner. He was snogging with Haylie. "Yuck!" They both screamed.  
  
"I got the boobies  
  
I got boobies  
  
I got the booby, booby boobies  
  
Yeah  
  
How many people in the house got them boobies?  
  
I got them boobies  
  
Mr. Paul Kelley's got them boobies.  
  
Well, they're not my boobies, I found them in a soiled filled bag, but technically they are mine.  
  
That's a little dumb."  
  
Fred and George began to quiet down. They sat, and eventually lay down. They fell asleep, and in their sleep rude comments about Oliver. Oliver and Haylie quit making out. She lay her head in his lap. Oliver wasn't asleep yet. He started to sing the chorus of the song.  
  
"I got the boobies  
  
I got boobies  
  
I got the booby, booby boobies  
  
Yeah  
  
How many people in the house got them boobies?  
  
I got them boobies  
  
Mr. Paul Kelley's got them boobies.  
  
Well, they're not my boobies, I found them in a soiled filled bag, but technically they are mine.  
  
That's a little dumb.  
  
He's got them boobies."  
  
Oliver gradually fell asleep. Harry was the only one awake. He picked up one of the discarded bottles he read the label. "Stupid Neville he got the kind that you're supposed to take at night. No wonder everyone is asleep." He looked at everyone. "I got the Boobies."  
  
"Yeah I got the Boobies  
  
I got the boobies  
  
I got the boobies  
  
I got the boobies, boobies, boobies.  
  
Yeah!  
  
Whose got the boobies?  
  
I got them boobies.  
  
Whose got them boobies?  
  
We got them boobies.  
  
We got the boobies, boobies, boobies.  
  
Yeah!"  
  
Harry thought to himself, "I hope that we can't get a hangover from this medicine." With that he was asleep.  
  
"We got them boobies  
  
Sean's got them boobies  
  
Bobby's got them boobies  
  
Gregor's got them boobies  
  
We got the boobies  
  
We got the, yeah!  
  
We got the boobies  
  
We got the boobies  
  
What do we got?  
  
We go the boobies  
  
What do we got?  
  
We go the boobies  
  
What do we got?  
  
We got the boobies, boobies, boobies  
  
Yeah"  
  
They woke up the next morning, and they couldn't remember everything that happened. They had clear nostrils, and had never felt so good. Oliver remembered the things the twins said. Ron and Hermione remembered what they told each other. Haylie remembered making out with Oliver. Harry remembered singing "Boobies." The twins remembered Harry's Swan Lake. Everyone remembered Seamus running around saying that he was superman. The twins tried their hardest to forget Harry dancing around. They never told anyone what went on that night. Locked forever in the forgotten part of their brain.  
  
"So tender I just want to eat you up.  
  
Thank you  
  
Yeah!"  
  
Notes- This is a weird story. Tell me and Little Ray of Moonlight what you think. Thanks for reading this crazy story. If you've never heard this song, go to come.to/crambo. Then click on MP3's. Enjoy. 


End file.
